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Ramblings of a sick heart

I didn’t ask you to carry me on this journey, all I wanted is for you to be my guide.
You knew from my past journeys, I got lost along the way trying to find the right direction.
And when you found me you said you would lead the way.
I didn’t tell you to smooth out my mess, but you messed up my heart more instead.
I didn’t wish to hear those double-edged words, but you made me believe it would help me become wiser and stronger.
I didn’t expect you’d be the one to let go first, but you left me wandering around in the dark.
You used to say we were going to fight those demons together but why was I always fighting them alone?
You used to say this and that but your actions show the opposite.
Your words and actions did not rhyme at all but you made it sound like you knew it all.
Just like the seasons, your mind keeps a-changing 24/7
But I used to pacify myself, ” it’s okay. That’s life, but it’ll get better in due time.”
You used to complain about me being like this and like that, but I didn’t abhor you for acting like this or that.
You always said I was amazing but why did it feel like I was the ugliest human alive?
And I saw myself walking down the path I loathed but you were just watching while the monsters were trying to devour me.
I wanted to run away from this treachery, I wanted to be free from this atrocity. But help didn’t come my way.
So, I have to go back to where I was and I must wake up before the sun sets.
Thank you for the memories and misdirections. I gotta be on my way.
Forgive me for my harshness but this is just some ramblings of a sick heart wishing for liberation.

•••So, I wrote this when I was high with fever, lol. And this photo was taken during one of my travels, going out of town with friends and spending the night with them. A breather, I must say.

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